Tremble For My Beloved
by xWickedxLovex
Summary: "What if the object of your hearts desire, could never be yours?" Bella's world turns upside down when she cross paths with a boy named Edward Cullen.She must find out why Edward is pushing her away, even if it kills her.
1. PROLOGUE

**Disclaimer: The original characters and plot of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with this story.**

**A/N: Rated M, this story will later on have some adult content, such as strong language, ****consensual sexual content, violence, ****controversial topics,** and **underage alcohol use. You have been warned. Enjoy!**

**********Summery: **"What if the object of your hearts desire, could never be yours?" After the tragic and mysterious death of her best friend. Isabella Swan is sent to Forks WA to live with her father and make a fresh start, but soon after she starts her first day at Forks High, her world turns upside down when she crosses paths with a boy named Edward Cullen. Something about him seems strangely familiar. He catches her attation from day one but he wants nothing to do with her. He goes out of his way to make that clear, but Bella can't let it go. She must find out why Edward is pushing her away, even if it kills her.

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PROLOGUE

_To tremble is to be affected with great fear or anxiety_

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The Beginning

**September 13th, 1918**

**Chicago, Illinois**

I knew it wasn't right for me to be here. Even though I'd be leaving in the morning, it seemed like time couldn't go by fast enough. I was sitting in the parlor, just gawking at the piano. I've resisted the urge to play for sometime now, knowing I wouldn't be able to help myself. I'd end up playing the song that she inspired.

I pray she wouldn't come looking for me before I left. My bags were already packed. I couldn't let myself get close to her. Always had to be careful and keep her at a distance. Not only would she never be safe with me, but I just wasn't good enough for her anyways. I was a monster.

Finally giving in and sitting down at the piano, I gently stroked the keys. I wanted to play so badly. Playing the piano was the only thing that made me happy, other then being near her.

That's when I felt it. The scent that set my throat ablaze with thirst, _Her scent. _It felt as if I was being hit by a train, but it has always been that way with her. Never in my life had any other humans blood been so potent, She was my own personal hell.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" I said coolly, getting up from the piano. I didn't bother to turn and look at her, I knew she was close enough to touch. I didn't want to risk losing what was left of the control I had.

I heard her take in a ragged breath and her heart started to beat rapidly. She was obviously shocked by my tone. She naively thought that all out little meetings have been purely happy coincidences, and that the pull she felt toward me was innocent—I knew better though.

"I couldn't sleep," she said simply, but her voice cracked just a little. She must have seen my luggage because her next words came out quickly.

"Are you leaving?" she said on the verge of being hysterical. I sighed and finally turned to look at her.

She looked so beautiful standing there in her long, white linen night gown with her long, wavy brown hair hanging freely down past her shoulders. She looked like an angel, or rather what I'd picture an angel to look like.

"Umm, warm milk with a spoonful of molasses," I said absentmindedly, I was too busy trying to resist the urge to take her in my arms. "It'll help you sleep,"A small smile broke across her lips.

"Huh, that's funny, how did you know? My mother used to---"

"I know," I interrupted, tearing my gaze from her mouth to her wide chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't tell her how I knew or even tell her how many times I'd made this very drink for her in the past. I was in love with this girl, always have been but it would be selfish of me to risk her life by being with her.

"You never answered my question, are you leaving?" She said, taking a step closer.

"Yes," I whispered, knowing what was going to come next.

"What? Why, Edward, why are you leaving me? It's my birthday today, you can't leave." She was almost in tears now.

"I have to," I said simply

"Then take me with you," she blurted out as she closed the space between us and placing her delicate hands on my chest. We haven't touched yet in this life but her touch has always made both the urge to kiss her and the thirst for her blood much more difficult to resist.

"No, I can't take you with me," I whispered, slowly lifting my hand to cup her cheek. She flushed scarlet in response. "I leave tomorrow. If you care for me at all, you'll let me go and won't say another word."

"If I care for you?" she repeated almost as if she was talking more to herself than to me. "But Edward, I--I love--"

"Don't say it." _Because hearing you say it will make me lose all the control I have._ I added mentally.

"I have to say it. Edward, I love you and if you leave---"

"If I leave, I save your life," I said, remembering all the other times I could have saved her from myself and what I am but didn't. "There are more important things in life than love." Her eyes narrowed.

"So, you're saying there are things more important than this," she challenged, taking my free hand and holding it to her chest, right over her heart. Oh to be her and not know what was about to happen. I couldn't resist anymore. I leaned down, and as soon as our lips melted together I could feel the control over my thirst begin to slip, In my mind the monster side of me smiled knowing what was going to come next.

She was aware of nothing other than this kiss. I, however, lost the rest of my control and did something I will regret for all eternity. The last thing I remember seeing was that spark of realization in her eyes.

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**A/N:** i just want to say thanks to **Violette de Musique** & **Jenndur** with out these girls This story would probably be sitting on my laptop never to see the light of day. Go check out their stories **Breakaway** and **Ricochet. **I will update as soon as I can. Reviews would be awesome!


	2. MEMORIES

A/N: the last chapter took place in the past and through Edward's point of view. Now we're in the present will be in Bella's Point of view from now on. Just thought I'd let everyone know. Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer: The original characters and plot of Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with this story.**

**Rated M, this story has some adult content, such as strong language, ****consensual sexual content, violence, ****controversial topics,** and **underage alcohol use. You have been warned.**

**********Summery: **"What if the object of your hearts desire, could never be yours?" After the tragic and mysterious death of her best friend. Isabella Swan is sent to Forks WA to live with her father and make a fresh start, but soon after she starts her first day at Forks High, her world turns upside down when she crosses paths with a boy named Edward Cullen. Something about him seems strangely familiar. He catches her attation from day one but he wants nothing to do with her. He goes out of his way to make that clear, but Bella can't let it go. She must find out why Edward is pushing her away, even if it kills her.

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**CHAPTER ONE: MEMORIES**

"All of my memories keep you near, In silent whispers, silent tears." - _'Memories' by Within Temptation_

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It was very early in the morning when I heard my mother coming up the stairs, calling my name. _Ugh! Why did this women insist on waking me up at this ungodly hour._ The sun wasn't even up yet, so why did I have to be.

"Bella, time to get up! You're going to miss your plane," my mom said as she opened my bedroom door. I tried to pretend I was still asleep. This was the day I had been dreading. I didn't want to leave my warm home in Phoenix, Arizona to go live in the small rainy town of Forks, Washington. But since I refused to talk to therapist, my mother decided that for my well being I would go live with my father, Charlie. I detested Forks, but not as much as I detested some wackjob therapist who thinks drugging me up on anti-depression and anti-anxiety pills will help me get over Anastasia's death two months ago.

"Mom, I want to miss my plane. I hate Forks," I grumbled

"Isabella, you knew the deal. You go talk to someone and you could stay, but since you refused I'm sending you to your father," she said as I finally sat up and looked at her.

"I don't understand why it's so important that I see someone. You make it sound like I'm not mentally stable or something. So I'm upset that Anna's gone, but that's normal," I said while playing with my shirt sleeve.

"Bella honey, it is normal to be depressed and to mourn your best friend's passing but this-" She said, grabbing my left wrist revealing a bunch of small cuts that were at one point really deep, but now are almost fully healed. "Is not healthy for you. I think that once you're away from everything that reminds you of Anna, you'll feel and be a lot better. You know the other option. It's your decision. I just want you to be okay," Mom said as she lifted her free hand and moved my hair from my eyes and tucked it behind my ear.

"I know Mom, I'm just going to miss you, that's all. I wish you didn't worry so much. I'm going to be fine," I said, pulling my wrist from her and covering the scars back up.

"I'm going to miss you too honey, but it's my job to worry about you. I wouldn't be a very good mother if I didn't," she said with a sad smile.

"Did you tell Char- I mean dad about the scars and you know, everything that's happened," I said lightly, hoping I wouldn't slip up and call my dad Charlie when I got there. It's just I got used to calling him Charlie, not to his face of course, but that's how my mom always referred to him normally.

"Um, I told him a little bit but not everything. You know Charlie, less is always more. Plus I figured you'd fill him in when you got there."

I looked away from her, still playing with my shirt. I was hoping that she had already told my father so I wouldn't have to talk about it. No one really knew that I blamed myself for her death, and everyone would think I'm nuts if they knew what I really thought happened.

_I remember like it was yesterday instead of a few months ago. Anna and I went to a party at her new boyfriend's house. They had only been dating a week or so, and she'd never actually been alone with him before. So, after the party wrapped up she asked if I'd cover for her and say she was staying at my house so that she could spend the night with Dimitri. I didn't really think it was the best idea, but she begged and pleaded saying that she would do it for me when I got a boyfriend. So I caved, I knew it was against my better judgment and also because something about him was odd, but I ended up going home alone._

_The next day, her mom was at my house asking if I knew where she was. I told her that Anna had left early to go see her boyfriend and told her where Dimitri lived, but Dimitri, his family and Anna were nowhere to be found. The house itself looked deserted. The following week was a nightmare, but the worst was yet to come. They found Anna two weeks later about ten miles from Dimitri's place, in a ditch. Her body was horribly beaten and drained of blood. They still had yet to get a hold of Dimitri or his family. There was no trace of them anywhere, it's as if they dropped off the face of the earth. I should have never left her alone with him, I will never forgive myself._

"Renee?" I was brought back into reality when I heard Phil's booming voice coming from down stairs. "We got to get going if Bella is going to make it to her plane on time."

I shook off the memory as if it was a bad dream. I wanted to remember the Anastasia I knew when she was alive, not as the lifeless corpse she is now. I looked up to see that my mom had already moved off my bed and was gathering my things. I must have been silent for too long because when my mom looked back at me I could see the growing concern for my mental health in her eyes. I didn't realize how much this was hurting her. Maybe moving wasn't such a bad idea. I could start over.

My departure from the Arizona airport was more tearful than I thought was possible. My mom gave me a big hug. She squeezed me so hard, I couldn't breathe.

"Make sure you call me once you get to Charlie's place. I want to make sure you make it there safe," she said, wiping away the tears and smudging her mascara.

"I will Mom, don't worry about me." I gave her one last hug as the announcement that my flight was boarding rang out over head. And with that I said goodbye to my mother, her husband, and goodbye to the sun. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be seeing much of them anytime soon.

It was late afternoon when I arrived in Seattle, Washington. Charlie apparently wasn't ready for my arrival because he was about an hour late picking me up. I considered calling him at his work but decided against it, the hour ride down to Forks was going to be awkward as it was, so I didn't mind putting it off while I could.

I was just sitting there staring off in space when the sound of someone clearing their throat made me jump. I turned to see Charlie standing behind me, he must have left work to come get me because he was still in his police uniform. Charlie was Police chief to the good people in Forks.

"Uh, hi Bells, sorry if I scared you," he said, shifting his weight awkwardly. I guess this meeting was as just uncomfortable for him as it was for me.

"Hi Dad. You didn't really scare me, I was just daydreaming, that's all," I said, getting up from the bench. His eyes shifted to my two suitcases then to my purse I was holding.

"Is this all you brought with you?"

"Yeah, I didn't really have much clothes that would be appropriate for the weather up here."

"Oh well, I guess I'll have to take you shopping," he said, finally looking back at me.

"You don't have to do that dad, I'll be fine." I'd rather go naked than spend an uncomfortable day shopping with my Dad.

"Ok, well we better get going. The cruiser is right outside," he said, grabbing my suitcases and walking to the airport entrance, and I followed. _Ugh the cruiser. That is definitely going cost me when I start school. Being dropped off in that thing will be "social suicide". _But then maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. I never was much of the social butterfly back home, that was more Anna's thing.

The car ride was pretty quiet for the most part. Charlie didn't say much and for that I was thankful. I'm pretty sure talking about the reason for me moving here would just make the car ride more uncomfortable.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Bells. I already enrolled you in school. I didn't want you to fall too far behind. You start tomorrow," Charlie said, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"Okay Dad, I'll make sure I'll set my alarm early enough so I have enough time, because if I remember correctly it's a long walk right?" _Oh fucking great._I thought I was going to have a few days to settle in...guess not.

"You're not going to have to walk. I wanted to keep this as a surprise when we got to the house, but I already bought you a car as a 'welcome home' gift." Wow he must really want to make me comfortable living here. My mom would have never got me a car just for the hell of it.

"Wow, what kind of car is it?" I asked, letting my curiosity get the best of me. I almost didn't notice when he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well it's not exactly a car. It's more of an old truck but Billy said that they just put all new parts in it. So it runs like new."

"Billy?" The name sounded familiar but I just couldn't place it.

"Billy Black, don't you remember him? You and his son, Jacob, used to play together all the time when you were little." Now I remember that name. Billy was Charlie's best friend who lived down in La Push. I used to make mud pies with Jacob while on fishing trips. Jacob was a year or two younger than me. I barely remembered him because I stopped spending my summers in Forks over five years ago.

"Yeah, I remember them." I spoke lightly and with that the car fell back into an awkward silence.

When we got to the house, I told Charlie that I was tired and wanted to go rest up for tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to school. I'm sure in this small of a town that my arrival is well known, so there will be a lot of curious eyes that I'll have to endure tomorrow. I'm not the type who wanted to be in center of attention, that was always Anna's thing. Just thinking about her brought all the sadness I've been hiding deep inside, all for the sake of acting normal, rushing back to me. I no longer wanted to unpack. I just curled up with a pillow on my bed and quietly cried myself to a dreamless sleep.

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**A/N:** As always I want to say thank you to my favorite girls **Violette de Musique **and**Jenndur, **I love you guys! Be sure to check out their stories **Breakaway** and **Ricochet**

Sorry that it took me so long to update. I'll try to update as soon as I can.

Please leave me some reviews...it only takes a few sec but your feedback means the world to me.

**xox Stephanie**


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